So I have done it for him.
Please, if you would be so kind, read the following list: Fabio Da Silva, Ross Turnbull, Tiago Bebe, Patrick Van Aanholt, Wojciech Szczesny, Jeffrey Bruma, Chris Smalling and Johan Djourou.
I'm sure you'd agree that this list of Premier League footballers would be unfamiliar to less ardent fans, maybe even relative unknowns to their own supporters.
But the names listed were all substitutes for Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal - currently the top three teams in the table - in recent weeks.
Now, in the hope that I'm not boring you to death with Chris Evans-style lists, please check out another one for me: Martin Keown, Hernan Crespo, Dimitar Berbatov, Ray Parlour, Ji-Sung Park, Damian Duff, Gary Neville and Carlo Cudicini.
Now this list of distinguished international and world class players is a sample of the names of substitutes during recent Premier League winning campaigns for the 'big three.'
Obviously injuries have to be taken into account, and even 'innovative' 25-man squad quota can be argued as reasons to this phenomenon of lack of depth. But there must be something else.
For starters all of the names on the former list were named when only five substitutes were allowed. Upping that number to seven gave manager's scope to include not only youth, but other quality players in their match day squads, but this hasn't worked and there have even been examples of clubs not being able to name a full bench.
Could the main reason be, however, that the Premier League is no longer 'the place to be?' La Liga, Serie A and even the Bundesliga have taken giant strides to catching up, and in some cases overtaking, the Premier League in terms of entertainment and value for money.
After English teams dominated the latter stages of the Champions League for four or five years we appear to be losing out to our continental counterparts once more. Would the likes of Dimitar Berbatov and Hernan Crespo be happy warming their behinds on benches up and down the country week in, week out? No. But look at the squads of Europe's major clubs. In Real Madrid's recent 5-1 demolition of Athletico Bilbao their substitutes included the likes of superstar striker Karim Benzema, multi-million euro-rated defender Raul Albiol and the sort after Lassana Diarra. Need I say more?
The Premier League has lost what one of its biggest former stars would call its 'Va Va Voom.' It is going to be difficult to turn that around with the current financial situations for most clubs, coupled with the drive from the FA and UEFA for more home-grown 'talent' to emerge.
Arsene Wenger's claim that the title race really will be the closest since he first stepped into his managerial boots in North London will probably proved to be correct. Sadly however it is due to a drop in standards, rather than improvements.
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